John Wick

Killing people is my passion — I kill people for money. Never mess with my dog or you’ll have it worse. Also known as “Baba Yaga”. Based in London. I’m best at what I do, and what I do isn’t very nice.

john@wick.com • +44 20 7946 0958 • john-wick-babayaga • continental-london

Work Experience

The Continental — London

Head Hunter

Jan 2015 – Present

  • Maintained a 100% contract completion rate across Mayfair, Soho, and the City — reviews mention “terrifying efficiency”
  • Specialized in pencil-based eliminations when firearms would be considered impolite at brunch
  • Honoured guest status at the London Continental; never killed anyone on the premises (house rules)

High Table — EMEA Division

Stealth Killer

Jan 2014 – Present

  • Executed classified contracts across Europe with zero witnesses and one very clean suit per job
  • Negotiated with intermediaries who insisted on talking; they stopped insisting
  • Reduced operational noise by 90% — targets simply stopped appearing on CCTV

Freelance — Greater London

Contract Killer

Jan 2011 – Present

  • Built a referral-only client base through discretion, punctuality, and absolutely no small talk
  • Once cleared an entire building in under four minutes; HR still has questions
  • Expert in car-based logistics — the Mustang is both transport and statement

Ruska Roma — London Chapter

Head of Gang

Jan 1992 – 2010

  • Led a crew of 12 specialists in asset recovery, persuasion, and regrettable life choices
  • Established the “don’t touch the dog” policy — still enforced city-wide
  • Retired from management to pursue a quieter life and a beagle named Daisy

Gang Member

Jan 1990 – 1991

  • Learned the trade from the ground up: entry, exit, and why you always pay for dinner at the Continental

Education

University of Greenwich

PhD, Weapons of Mass Distraction — GPA: Classified

2007

King’s College London

M.S., Combat Training — GPA: 4.0/4.0 (unofficial)

2003

University of Westminster

B.E., Ninja Skills — GPA: 3.9/4.0

2001

Project

Operation: Daisy Defence

  • Designed a perimeter security protocol for a small dog after an incident involving a vintage Mustang and poor decisions
  • Integrated 24/7 surveillance across Camden, with automatic escalation to “full Baba Yaga mode”
  • Delivered zero repeat incidents — though the puppy was not optional collateral

Continental Coin Loyalty System

  • Built a blood-oath-based CRM for London assassins using gold coins instead of Nectar points
  • Achieved 99.9% uptime for room service, weapon cleaning, and body disposal
  • Won internal award for “Guest Who Checked Out Quietly”

Skills

  • Weapons: Handguns, Shotguns, Knives, Pencils (Ticonderoga Grade 2), Cars (as projectiles)
  • Stealth: Shadow walking, Whisper-level footwork, Three-piece suit camouflage, Stairwell parkour
  • Tools: Burner phones, GPS trackers, Dog treats (diplomacy), Coin-operated hotel services, Bulletproof tailoring

Certificate

Licensed Continental Assassin

  • Issued by The High Table (London Chapter)

Excommunicado Survival Certification

  • Issued by Winston Scott, Manager — The Continental London

Award

Baba Yaga — Bogeyman of the Underground

Every crime syndicate in Europe

Employee of the Month (Posthumous for Targets)

The Continental London